Internal communications – just talking to yourself?
September 16, 2022
How well do we all communicate?
Forget that this is written by a charity and care marketing agency for a moment. Just imagine this is just a person. Talking about communicating to known people. Be those staff, team-members, volunteers, kids, partners or bosses (the last two often being interchangeable).
You ask anyone – anyone at all – if they are a good communicator and the vast proportion will reply with a hearty “Well yes, of course!”
But think of people you work with, play with… even live with? How many of those do you think of as really good communicators. I’m not talking about being honest here or straightforward… but more like: how good are they at getting a point across… elegantly… skilfully… in a tone that will mean that it lands well, with good understanding and doesn’t ruffle feathers?
It’s not actually that many, in my experience. People like that are, as the old saying goes, as rare as hen’s teeth.
Some pitfalls
When talking about something pressing or important and that they really care about, many will fail to see why others aren’t so engaged and so communication can begin to become a little too forceful. Which then is greeted by a counter-effort on the other side to repel, invalidate or argue against that which is being thrust on them.
Think about this too. How many of us also think the easiest way to help is to point out what is wrong, and what is the fault in what is being communicated? You’ve sat in the conferences where the brightest spark in the room thinks they look best by spotting the glaring error and saving everyone in the room from the risk of imminent doom? This is of course normally the chairperson’s role (written here with a grin!)
Many think that communication goes neatly into silos. Some you make more effort with and some you are more careless with, because the stakes are lower and ‘they know what I mean anyway – they’ve known me long enough.’ For those that find this statement judgemental, I admit that I, myself, am not immune to the creep of this natural laziness.
And then one has to take a glance in the mirror. Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not accusing you of anything here, I’m just trying to get you thinking about one of the most powerful tools we all have – communicating with others – and whether it is being directed as well as it could be.
What I’m outlining here are just SOME (certainly not all) of the bear-traps that can impede the free flow of information and ideas between people. And their power to confuse and upset comes from them remaining unseen, unappreciated and unscrutinised.
On the positive side, just realising these negative factors can be present can go some way towards repairing and overcoming them.
But one of the most powerful remedies is a change of attitude and stance on the matter.
If we, ourselves can take some responsibility for not just how the communication seems to us, but also for the person who is on the receiving end. In every piece of communication. Do I have their attention? Will it be fully understood? Am I making it consumable enough? Am I trying to sound a certain way (clever for example) rather than making sure my message is digestible? Do I respect the other(s) enough to ensure my message is intelligible? Am I using the right setting or channel for such a message as I am delivering?
Responsibility is the key
The responsibility point for the other person is THE key factor. Unless of course you want your communication to always be a hit-and-miss affair.
Like most “good communicators” around us.
Thanks for reading. I shall explore the other, more mechanical pitfalls of communicating to those closer to us in the next blog piece. Please feel invited to join me again for the next instalment.
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